It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
