How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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