and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
