I'm really into asian looking animals
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
