Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
