I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
