I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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