dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize