omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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