Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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