I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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