is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
