Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
