I heard we made out
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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