too bad you live with your parents still
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
