i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
