I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
