Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
