i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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