well I can't set my house on fire every night
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
