at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
