You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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