she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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