They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
