Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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