I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
