Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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