Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
