i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
