I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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