If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
