Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
