now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
