i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
