whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
