you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
