Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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