Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
