I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
