im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
