p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
