Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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