I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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