Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
