last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
