So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
