he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
