i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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