Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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