she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
