Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
