I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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