I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
