i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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