i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
