Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
