Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
