WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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