We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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