So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
