he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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